Thursday, May 24, 2012

Just a minute...

Yes, really, just a minute to say hello and a rundown of our chaos.  No, it hasn't gotten any better around here.  My MS is kicking up a fuss... by about 5:30 everyday I can barely walk - I even ouch, ouch, cry, cry all the way to the bathroom.  But I'm not asleep.  I'm too busy.  I'm exhausted, but I'm not asleep.
On the up side, I did get my mom's house clean, top to bottom, front to back.  It was work - hard work - and then I fell totally apart.  But it got done and I am very proud of myself.  Now if I can just keep it up.  Hmm.
My mom and dad came home Sunday.  You are not going to believe this, but my dad fell at a Rest Area on the way home.  He fell really hard... so hard that my mom drove straight to the ER in Pensacola before coming home.  Someone had to literally lift him out and into the car.  When he got home, GiGi actually helped him into the wheelchair from the car (still haven't figured out how that happened) and when he got to the door I had to pick him up and into the house 3 steps so they could get the wheelchair in.  While the Xrays and bloodwork at the ER showed nothing, we went yesterday to the orthopaedic surgeon who had done his hip replacement and now he needs a bone scan (tomorrow which means next week before we hear anything).  In the meantime, I lift him in and out of bed.  My dad is 6' tall weighing about 190lbs and I'm 5'4" weighing about 145lbs, so wonder how long I can do that?  We will definitely see... amazing what we can do when we need to.  What's really worrisome though is that his mind/memory seems to be going away very rapidly.  I am sincerely concerned as to what the next few weeks hold.
My poor momma walked in the door behind my dad on Sunday saying her back hurt.  It's steadily worsened to the point that today it hurts to lift her arms.  Momma is not in good shape and I'm not sure what we can do before her appointment in two weeks for a steroid shot.  I know she really wants to help me, but she just can't.  Also worth mentioning, my mom experienced a few health issues while in Tampa - these experiences made her aware that there are so many situations regarding their health and medications that only I know about.  It has become fairly obvious that maybe I should be making this my permanent home.  Hmmm.
JC went back to his dad's on Monday.  But then on Tuesday, he came back to spend the night with us and then went back on Wednesday to return next Tuesday.  I really miss him badly.  And I worry about him.  Do we ever trust anyone else to care for our loved ones the way we do?  I think not.
GiGi has gone through some things since my last post about our current events.  But I can't go into this in respect for her privacy... let me just say big changes in the teen-girl department.  This has been more than a little dramatic for my GIrlyGIrl and her doting grandmother!!!
And then the past couple of weeks have been full of our family's usual drama... the kind of drama that surpasses all of the extraordinary events of the past couple of weeks by miles and miles.  This is the drama that puts us over the edge - made all the worse because we can find no way out of it. Ever. 
So, needless to say, my stress levels are somewhere pass Mars.  I have to apologize to my family over and over for being short and/or loud (I have an extremely loud voice anyway, so when I get excited, upset, or stressed it becomes even louder).  I need my scrap stuff more than ever.  I need a place and 30 minutes to just do one (yes, even just 1) layout so that I can find my own personal nirvana.  But, alas, it's not to be.  Nor do I have time to get all the blog posts out of my head and into blogworld.   I haven't even glanced at my facebook!! 
Okay, enough of my whining.  I have faith that God will not give us more than we can take.  I have faith that whatever happens, it is what is meant to happen.  I have faith that there is a reason for all of this.  I have faith, I have faith, I have faith... please God, make me strong.
And there has been good - JC and I are closer than I ever remember us being.  GiGi and I have renewed the strength of our bond.  My mom and dad are here with me - and we're starting to realize that a new dynamic in our relationship is taking place.  And I am so good with all of those things that, even as I sit here hurting/stressing/depressing, I have to have gladness in my heart.
But do me a favor... please do something totally fun and creative.  And I'll thank God for you in my prayers. 


P.S. Since I cannot do a layout at this time, I'm indulging in a few pix - I did get an iphone about a month ago (no, not the 4G... puhlease) for data purposes - bwahahahah... so I am having fun with hipstamatic and instagram!

JCs 2nd Cast (also to his hip joint)

JC's First Cast (yes it goes to his hip joint)

5'6.5" at 13 - my long tall GiGI is
the tallest female in our family

Lest I should forget: Pretty Kitty
Clockwise from top left:  Princess,
Prince, Fifi, Duchess (my fave, shhh)
before their haircuts!

"One must still have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to the dancing star." - Frederich Nietzche


  1. Goodness!!! I will definitely be praying that God gives you His peace in the middle of your storm! Hugs!