I'm So Pathetic...

Okay, so I really wanted to win the Cover to Cover class being given by Shimelle.  It's the one class that I thought I really needed.  I'm really sad right now... I'd like to say that I'm happy for Shannon who won, but that would just be a lie.  I'm not happy for Shannon.  I'm wallowing in self-pity.  It's definitely unattractive and not a trait that I like to admit.  I'm so pathetic.

I just knew I would win because this is my year for great things to happen (okay, we won't count the past week - but even it was great because I really have spent some quality time with my babies and JC & I have become closer than ever... almost, until today - another unattractive story).  But I won my laptop at Christmas and who ever wins a decent laptop on a Hershey sweepstakes drawing that you do at a store while shopping for electronics?!  I mean, it's actually the laptop that I would have bought myself - not a super duper great laptop, but its 15", has a buttload of memory and has all the essentials I need to include Microsoft Office 2010.  I love it - it was totally free and delivered 2 days before Christmas.  So if I could win a great laptop, it must be my year for great things to happen.  I should win everything I really need - well maybe except the Lottery even though I really need to win it so I can get us out of the debt we've incurred in the past couple of years and buy the kids and me a great new house big enough to fit all of us as well as my parents and maybe a scrap room.  But you know, I really need to take the Cover to Cover class.  It's the one.  I needed to win it.  I'm so pathetic.

So now, in the paranoia that rules my life, I'm starting to get nervous about my hearing again.  If I didn't win the class, am I going to win my hearing?  I know they have nothing to do with one another, but it's how my mind works.  It's because of my bad luck.  And because I'm so pathetic.

The laptop was only the 2nd thing I ever won.  Exactly thirty years ago I won a trip for my husband and I to Hawaii- I had entered a drawing at our apartment complex in Tacoma.  Problem was that it was announced that we won the day after I got on a plane - a one-way ticket kind of plane.  I wonder if he had a good time.  See, now that was bad luck.  If I had only stayed one.more.day. I could have gone to Hawaii - who knows, that trip might have saved our marriage.  But no, fate said, "Get the hell out of here today!".  Do you know why?  Because fate insists that I have bad luck.  I am doomed.  I'm so pathetic.

Well, honestly, I don't have time for that class right now.  My plate is pretty full until about the end of June/July.  I don't even have time to write this blog or even get on the internet most days.  I'm still here at my mom's for at least another week.  I'm still taking care of the kids.  I'm still watching the dogs.  I still haven't finished cleaning the house.  I still have my to-do list for my mom.  I haven't even made a layout since the last one I posted here.  No, life is definitely full and certainly no time for classes right now.  It's so pathetic.

Well, GiGi has come and laid down - it's time to go to sleep.  The last thing she said to me before the sandman took her was, "Happy Mother's Day, I love you.".  What wonderful words to go to sleep with.  Life is certainly good right at this very moment.  Nothing pathetic about being loved by such a beautiful person.

I hope your Mother's Day is oh so very beautiful and you are the Queen of the Day - even if those who love you just give you time to yourself.  And never forget: if you are a mother, you have already created your most amazing art.

Cheerio.

"A mother's life, you see, is one long succession of dramas, now soft and tender, now terrible." - Honore de Balzac