What it comes down to is that I miss the structure of going to work everyday. When I started this blog I had every intention of it being a job. I would scrapbook and then blog at least 5 days a week. If my diseases flaired, it would be one thing; but there would be 5 days per week of productivity. I have failed miserably. And every night that I go to bed without having accomplished anything that day, makes it easier to do nothing the next day. This lack of productivity and accomplishment adds to any and all other Depression factors and the vicious cycle begins. I know there are women who are SAHMs that don't have these problems because their lives are so full of obligations, friends and a sense of importance. But I also think that I can't be the only one who has ever been forced out of a work environment into just a state of existence of which we're just not suited. When I worked, I worked very very hard...the primary force behind all that working was simply this: I liked the sense of importance and accomplishment. So I am preparing my New Years Resolution early... to accomplish a sense of importance.
Now, truth be told, I completely believe that scrapbooking is extremely important. This is another matter that can totally depress me... but that's for another discussion. What is for this discussion, is the fact that I find everything I need in scrapbooking - a sense of importance, accomplishment and creative outlet for stress. However, understanding what scrapbooking means to me is shared by very few people in my life...actually GiGi has about at 90% understanding, Starr about 75% and my mom about 1%. Since my mom's 'bread ain't baked', she is the main deterrent in my scrapbooking. She completely thinks its a waste of time and money; I suppose she thinks it's so much better to sit and watch mindless TV all day as that costs virtually nothing. While I absolutely love my mom, unfortunately I have surpassed ambivalence and gone on to antagonistic due to this issue, resulting in an attitude of it's easier to just not do it than deal with explaining it for the 1,000th time. But, because I have a pretty good attitude about being awaken at 1:00 in the morning to deal with her anxiety attacks and changing my dad's Depends after not making it to the loo in time, I have decided that Scrapbooking is about to become a priority in my life. I can't be a good person for anyone (exemplified by how unbearable I am becoming to live with) if I'm not living a life I feel good about.
So, I'm thinking it will probably take a few weeks to retrain myself and that's why I'm starting now to work on my New Years Resolution. And gosh knows that I need to retrain myself! But if I can create a new work ethic as far as scrapbooking, that will surely bleed over onto my blogging. It's a no-brainer. Besides, the first of the year is coming up and that means my purchasing power will increase a bit (in lieu of the current no-spend situation due to modeling competition, birthdays and Christmas) and I may expand my horizons in the paper area.
But as it is, I'm still absolutely infatuated with the AC Shimelle collection. As you are aware, I have at least 6-8 ongoing subjects comprising 18 albums. What that means is that I can create layout after layout of the same papers and never ever will it look monotonous or duplicated. No one ever goes through every single album in one sitting! And really, how wonderful that I can continue to use the same supplies over and over until I get totally sick of them!!!
Today, I've got several layouts to show you. First, it's two sets of layouts - the same birthday pics created two ways: one layout created with AC Shimelle, the other with Pebbles HomeMade. The layouts are of my mom and my birthdays this year and one each will go into our annual family album and the other into individual albums. As you know, I do this alot, but this is the ultimate demonstration:
Next, three layouts for Back-to-School. There's something about school layouts that I always want to have globes and numbers involved...just one more of those freakish things about me. These three layouts will be divided into the Annual Family Album, GiGi's Album and JCs Album:
Okay, I'm just going to admit it...GiGi's Back-to-School layout is one of my faves as far as just looking at it in person. I don't know what it is - always love bits of shininess, the pink/raspberry/aqua color scheme is my fave, the super-simplistic composition makes everything pop - but truly, there's just something so pleasing to my eye and mind when I look at this layout that took all of 15 minutes to throw together. You just never know what's going to do it for you, do you?!!
You probably are very aware of the brands of evey.single.bit. that's on the layouts, but in the event you're wondering about something I missed naming, just ask.
And I just want to say, that I am so honored that you've brought me into your lives. Thank you for giving me this gift and understanding my shortcomings. I am so very fortunate.
Now I hope you're all well and have been living the scrappy life!
Stay Safe and Scrap On!
PS. Tonight's quote refers to writing; but, I feel this way about any creative outlet. Specifically, I feel this way about scrapbooking. Would I die if I never scrapbook again, probably not - but my life would only be a 'half-life'.
“Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." - Rainer Maria Rilke