Saturday, March 31, 2012

April FOOLS... Early

So went to ER today with my Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) as well as the crushing pain from my ribs to my head.  Yes, I have been dealing with this in my little cocoon, but today it was EXCRUCIATING - more than my mind could handle.  So Momma took me to ER at the nearest hospital (from here on known as ERX).  What a fiasco! 
I should give a little background:  First let me say that I deal with a lot of pain a lot of the time. There have probably been uncountable times that I should have gone to ER.  My momma has actually begged to take me -- but I HATE THE ER.   It takes something uncanny to get me to break down and go. I have the mindset that it's just part of the deal - I have this disease and its my burden to bear. I'm pretty strong willed and I can deal with it - even if I'm screaming and rolling around on the floor. So for me to actually break down and go --- well I knew that it was beyond my capacity.
That being said, I was in this same ER about 10 days ago with the TN (my regular meds don't touch that pain and when it sets in it can knock you out of this world).  At that time I was seriously impressed.  I was in & out within 1.5 hours (even tho it seemed like 10) and had the most understanding doctor I have ever dealt with regarding my TN.  Even found out that quarter size sleep spot in my forehead is not a brain tumor but just more MS.  Got a shot of Dilated, one of Toradol, scrip for Prednisone, went home.  Pain continued for about 6 days hot and heavy but easier to deal with most of the time.  Then about Thursday it started to wane.  Yippee!  Friday was better, but as I was tired it wasn't a real good day.  Then about 3:00 this morning (I was awake because of the storm that was rocking the RV with each lightning/thunder blast) I took a swig of room-temp water and BANG!!!!!!!! I was rocking and reeling and not because of the storm - but maybe louder than the storm!  Finally, it chilled and I slept.  Woke up this morning and drank coffee thru a straw - that wasn't too bad until I accidently picked it up and WHAM! took a swig.  Not only this but, since I had awoke the crushing pain had been building in my upper regions and even after taking my meds it just kept building.  So by about 1:00 I was pretty much coming unglued.
So I went to ERX and didn't have to wait too long (probably 30 min - seemed like 6 hrs).  Got into room and had same doc! Great! He's knowledgable about the MS so will understand where I'm coming from! No, I haven't seen a doc this week - only doc I have is my PM and can only afford to see him every other month.  Besides, I have been dealing with these kinds of flairs for years and DO NOT go to doc everytime I have one... make sure I'm not having a heart attack and get me through the worst of it and I'll call him next week.  Best part was when I told him that I had taken a swig of water and set it off - well then it must be a broken tooth.  No. Its not a tooth.  I know how to check my teeth for issues, I even have a little tool I use to do it.  It's always the first thing I check.  The worst of the pain wasn't near my teeth, but in the nerves on and under my tongue.  That's where it originated and I could follow the horrible lightning trail all the way through my face to my head.  He left.  15 min later a nurse walked in with my release forms and scrips for Neurontin (which I have and take all the time), a scrip for Ibuprofin (scrip higher than Advil otc), and Prednisone.  Bye. 
Needless to say this is the point where I lost my mind.  She asked if I wanted the Doc to come back in - YES.  She left and mom came in.  The stress obviously was making the pain worse because now I'm hugging myself... there was a vice around my back, stomach, ribs, shoulders, arms, neck and stabs in my chest.  I am crying hysterically.  When the doctor came back in I couldn't hardly talk, much less be coherent, and he & mom said I was yelling at him. (Let me just say that I am VERY LOUD.  I talk VERY LOUDLY.  It has always been an issue with my family as well as at work.  I do not mean to yell, but I am SOOOOO LOUD.  It is always that one thing I would change about myself when asked...and I actually try to practice making my voice softer - it doesn't work :(  )  Honestly, I was hysterical.  I was hurting so badly and so upset about being dismissed that I just freaked out.  Not my best moment.  At any rate, Doc left and went to call my PM about what to do.  Comes back (finally) & tells me PM says give me some Dilated to get thru weekend til I can call him.  I apologized profusely and was sincerely sorry about my previous behaviour.  A while later a new nurse comes in with two scrips - one for Prednisone (one still sitting beside me on bed !?!) and one for 5 Dilated pills.  Okay.  If you can write me a scrip for the Dilated, why not just shoot me in the ass until I can get them filled?!  I mean, I am sitting here in hysterical pain.  And you're going to send me out in the same condition I came in?  WTF?  Oh, and by the way, if I were having a heart attack no one would ever know until I laid stock still cold because no one ever even listened to my heart.  Yes, my blood pressure was high.  Yes, I could hear my heart beating 120 bps in my ears and feel it on my chest.  Does anyone else know that - NO!  Noone ever checked.  Noone ever laid a hand on me outside of checking my bp and temp in triage. 
Needless to say I will never go back there even though its the closest ER to home.  This is a wicked disease.  Flairs come on suddenly with no rhyme or reason.  Most of the time, though I holler and roll around on the floor, I can deal with them.  I have meds.  I take them, even a little extra if I need to.  But when that doesn't work, it's time to call in the big guns.  Unfortunately, today the big guns had left the field.  I was alone in the war. 
I've taken my little Dilated pills I was sent to CVS to pick up.  I am still in pain - I could let out a yelp for sure.  But I'm managing, obviously.  But now my focus is on the saddest and scariest part of this little tale:  What if it wasn't the MS 'hug' and I had been having a heart attack.  I read the other day that tooth pain is actually one of the first symptoms of a heart attack.  Then there was the crushing feeling I was having.  Stabbing pains in my heart.  The stress was making it soooo much worse.  What if? 
We live in a scary world of fools... sometimes where we least expect them... and unfortunately, sometimes our lives lay in their hands.


"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." - J. K. Rowling

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